The Daily Shot, Ricochet, June 28, 2017
America these days, we tells ya. What’s the world coming to when a man canjust for dragging a dead opossum along the road?
Wait … what?
It happened Sunday in Allyn, a tiny town in Mason County, WA. An unnamed man was going along, minding his own business, when he found a dead opossum in the road. It was not in a good state, and smelled about like you’d expect a dead opossum to smell in the summer time. In other words, it reeked to high heaven.
So the man did what any of us would do: he started pulling it behind him with a rope, to bring home and use as bait in his crab pots. (That’s so obvious, we don’t even know why we’re mentioning it.)
It was about that time when he ran across some folks who took exception to the tired old dragging-a-dead-opossum-along-a-road-to-use-in-your-crab-pots cliché. Apparently they thought he was dragging a dog for some reason. You’d think that this could be resolved by the man saying “No, dude, it’s not a dog. It’s a reeking dead opossum that I’m bringing home to use as bait in my crab traps.” But maybe the exception takers had heard that old chestnut one too many times.
So one thing led to another, and the dead opossum guy ended up being shot in the leg and then run down with a car. The man survived, but only got partial descriptions of the vehicles involved. And a police investigation has ensued. There is no word on the fate of the reeking dead opossum.
We don’t have a closing joke here. (And really, what could one possibly add to this story?) But if you have any information about this … incident, you are encouraged to contact Mason County investigators at (360) 426-3302.